Let’s Talk About This Dip (Because I Can’t Stop)
I first made this Cranberry Jalapeño Cream Cheese Dip That Steals the Show at 10pm because I couldn’t sleep and thought about a weird salsa my aunt once gifted me—honestly, it tasted like a holiday candle exploded, but I was inspired. So, picture me in pajamas chopping cranberries while my dog eyed the mess (and maybe a stray cracker or two). Now, this dip is our family’s permanent party mascot. I mean, it’s been requested more than birthdays cakes or—wildly—pickled eggs (don’t ask). If you’re reading this and thinking “Is that too much?” No. It’s not.
- One time I brought it to a neighborhood potluck and legit got cornered by a neighbor demanding the recipe. I’m not kidding, she texted me at midnight, too.
Why You’ll Love This Messy (But Awesome) Dip
I pull out this recipe when I want to impress people but don’t want to, you know, sweat in the kitchen for ages. My family basically inhales it—I’m not even sure they stop to breathe. The sweet, tart cranberries with that sneaky jalapeño heat—oh, it’s like the food version of a festive awkward uncle: bright, unexpected, and a little sharp! (But in a good way, promise.)
Sometimes chopping cranberries feels like a game of “What Will Stain Next,” but honestly, that’s half the fun (maybe invest in an apron, just saying). I also make this every year after Thanksgiving because, well, what am I supposed to do with a half-bag of leftover cranberries? Eat them raw? Ha. No thanks.
What You’ll Need (and a Few Swap Ideas)
- 1 (12 oz) bag fresh cranberries (I use frozen when I can’t find fresh—just thaw first)
- 1-2 jalapeños, seeded and diced (add more or less depending on your mood; I’ve tried serrano peppers too, but whoa, careful with those)
- 1 cup sugar (yeah, it sounds like a lot, but trust me—my grandma always insisted on less, but then it was more like cranberry salsa soup… weird)
- 1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped (or parsley if cilantro tastes like soap to you, which seems to be a whole thing)
- 1 bunch green onions, diced (sometimes I just use a handful; I skip this if I’m out, and it’s still fine)
- Juice of 1 lime (I’ve used lemon in a pinch, or if I forgot to buy limes. Not a crisis.)
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 2 blocks (16 oz total) cream cheese, softened (I really do prefer full-fat, but whatever you’ve got is fine. I once used whipped. It worked, kinda!)
How I Actually Put It Together
- Chop up the cranberries. I use a food processor (if you don’t have one, just chop manually, but, oof, it’s a workout). Pulse ’til chunky—not pureed—and yes, it looks a tad gruesome. That’s normal.
- In a bowl, mix the cranberries, jalapeños, sugar, cilantro, green onions, lime juice, and salt. Give it a good stir. This is when I usually sneak a taste. If your kitchen doesn’t smell amazing, something went wrong… or you forgot the cilantro (I’ve done that; still tasted fine, though!)
- Cover and pop it in the fridge for at least two hours, though honestly I think overnight’s better—the flavors get friendly and blend better. It’s worth the wait.
- After marinating, put the cream cheese on a serving plate or in a shallow dish. Spread it into a thick layer (I use the back of a spoon. Or in a rush, just plop it down. No judgment.)
- Drain some liquid off the cranberry mix (otherwise it’s a slip-n-slide situation). Spoon the cranberry jalapeño mix over the cream cheese. Pile it high or make it neat—it’s up to you.
Some Things I Learned the Hard Way (Aka Notes)
- If you skip the marinating, it’s… fine, but the jalapeño heat just sits on top. Not the best vibe. Trust me, patience pays off here.
- I once added too much sugar, and it basically turned into a bizarre holiday dessert. Maybe don’t double the sugar, even if distracted.
- You can make this the day before—you should, even! But cover it super tight or it smells up your fridge (I learned this after my milk started tasting “herbal”).
Variations I’ve Tried (and One I Regret)
- Substitute goat cheese for cream cheese—it’s super tangy, but a couple folks in my family think it’s “a bit much,” so maybe a half-half blend is safer.
- Swap in blackberries (once, by accident, long story involving a mislabeled freezer bag) for half the cranberries. It was weirder in my head than on the plate, but I probably won’t make it again.
- Add a handful of chopped toasted pecans on top for crunch if you’re feeling festive (or just have pecans hanging around).
You Don’t Really Need Fancy Equipment (But…)
Food processor is ideal, but a big sharp knife works ok (just, be careful; cranberry juice does stain). Once I tried to use my blender—nope, clogged up and made a mess.
How Long Does This Hang Around? (Honestly, Not Long)
Technically, it’ll keep 3 days tightly sealed in the fridge, but in my house people eat it when they’re “just grabbing a snack.” So maybe make a double batch if you have a crowd. Oh, if it gets a little watery, just drain before serving. Or stir it in—no big deal.
How We Serve This… And Some Odd Traditions
- With buttery crackers (my favorite is still Ritz—takes me back!)
- Bagel chips or even toasted baguette
- One cousin swears by stuffing it into celery sticks; she’s wild, but it works
- Sometimes, we top roast chicken leftovers with the cranberry mix for lunch the next day. Or I do. They think I’m nuts.
Tiny Lessons Learned (So You Don’t Have To)
- I tried to rush the marinating once, thinking I could cheat it with 30 minutes—nope, the jalapeños were still harsh. Let it sit, even if it’s tempting to shortcut.
- If you layer everything while the cream cheese is still cold, it’s impossible to spread. Let it get soft first (learned that the hard way—twice).
Questions I Actually Get—Real Talk
- Can I use canned cranberries? You could… but (honestly) it just isn’t the same. Too mushy and sweet. If you’re pressed for time, maybe just chop them up and skip the sugar.
- Is this super spicy? Not really, unless you go wild with jalapeños. I sometimes use just one if kiddos are eating. But spice lovers can toss in an extra or even leave the seeds in—you’re brave.
- Any make-ahead tips? Oh, definitely—marinate the cranberry part, then just assemble right before serving. The cream cheese layer can dry out if you prep too early.
- Can it be frozen? Eh, not the best idea. The cranberry mix gets watery and the cream cheese goes weirdly grainy (learned that the messy way). Make fresh if you can.
- What’s the best cracker? I probably change my mind every time, but honestly, any mild, slightly salty one works. Triscuits, pita chips, you name it!
P.S. If you’re as obsessed with holiday dips as I am, Smitten Kitchen’s cranberry lime pie is a wild ride. For serious cheese plate inspiration, I sometimes scroll through The Kitchn’s cheese board guide just to get snack ideas. Inspiration is everywhere, right?
Anyway. Try this dip. Let me know if you accidentally turn your fingernails pink!
Ingredients
- 1 (8 oz) block cream cheese, softened
- 1 cup fresh cranberries, chopped
- 1–2 medium jalapeños, seeded and finely diced
- 1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
- 1/4 cup green onions, sliced
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
- 1 tablespoon lemon juice
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
Instructions
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1In a medium bowl, combine chopped cranberries, diced jalapeños, cilantro, green onions, sugar, lemon juice, and salt. Mix well.
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2Cover the mixture and refrigerate for at least 15 minutes to allow the flavors to meld.
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3Place the softened cream cheese on a serving platter and shape into a flat rectangle or oval.
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4Spoon the chilled cranberry jalapeño mixture evenly over the cream cheese.
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5Serve immediately with crackers, chips, or fresh vegetables for dipping.
Approximate Information for One Serving
Nutrition Disclaimers
Number of total servings shown is approximate. Actual number of servings will depend on your preferred portion sizes.
Nutritional values shown are general guidelines and reflect information for 1 serving using the ingredients listed, not including any optional ingredients. Actual macros may vary slightly depending on specific brands and types of ingredients used.
To determine the weight of one serving, prepare the recipe as instructed. Weigh the finished recipe, then divide the weight of the finished recipe (not including the weight of the container the food is in) by the desired number of servings. Result will be the weight of one serving.
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